August 31, 2005
Kevinawi

Leeches suck

The reward of bombing down a hill is what motivates me to ride up a long hill. The higher I climb, the longer the downhill, I am frequentlly told. It's true. It's all worth it... the sweat, the blood, the cramps and even when my heart feels like bursting out of my chest,... it's all worth it. Now, I may not be a downhiller per se, plus I really don't have the full gear for it, but flying down a trail while having to focus a few meters ahead and avoiding the ruts, roots, rocks and the occassional wildlife is a big fat adrenaline rush. A single lost of concentration could and would lead up to injuries ranging from a busted elbow to a broken neck. What a rush!

After a half a day's ride, reaching home, I'd clean the bike and then head up to the apartment, still floating from the adrenaline rush. But the shocker follows once I get ready for the shower. The first one hangs on as it's big fat body is pulled down by gravity, no longer having any support from my bike tights after I've taken them off. The second drops onto the bathroom floor rolling and leaving a trail of fresh blood down my thigh!

Leeches! Bloody blood-sucking leeches. They are like the paratroopers of the jungle. They hang out in the low lying branches in the jungle by trails where animals, orang asli, hikers and mountain bikers traffic. At the opportune time they launch themselves at their victims. It's amazing how they can creep up/dive and latch on the skin of the victim. Like disciples of Jet Li, they pounce on their oblivious victims.

These relentless leeches have struck fear in many riders. It is not the fear of seeing one, two or three leeches while on a trail. It is finding them after the ride. Sometimes, hours after the ride, still stuck in the dark regions of the human body. And, yes, that does truly suck!

There are known methods in the attempt to dislodge a leech which it's still 'feeding'. While feeding, the leech's suction is so strong that if one pulls on it, it's like tearing off one's skin with a pinch. But if one is successful in forcefully tugging the leech off, bright and thick blood starts streaming out. The bad news is that it doesn't clot for long, long hours. Leaving spots of blood on your car seat, couch, bedsheets and one's nice clean socks for the next few nights.

Removal Methods
1) The heave-ho/ tug & pull
- it works well to pull and tug the sucker forcefully off but this leaves a blood trail and stains almost everything that come in contact with the 'wound'

2) Burn the sucker off
- highly effectively, but with risks. At the risk of singe-ing your bodily hair, with careful execution, this works quite well in dislodging the leech. Warning: make sure the sun screen used before the ride is not of the "highly flammable" kind

3) Use one's saliva/ spit
- a wart of saliva or spit on the leech may dislodge the leech willingly. That is if your saliva (or friend's) is of the heavier in salt content kind. Though this is mostly a myth, I have personally seen it work before my eyes. So try it at your own risk of looking an idiot: trying to spit on yourself... or worse, getting a friend to spit on you.

4) A little salt goes a long way
- yes, sprinkling a little salt on the leech could suggest that you are attempting to dine on the leech for dining on you, is a safe and popular way of getting this 'monkey' off your back. Salt causes the leech to go into some sort of shock and it shrivels up and falls off with less of a gaping wound hole than a 'heave-ho' attempt. Salt effects the leech like how hollywood's daylight effects vampires. Though the leech does not turn to ashes and go "poof!", it does the trick.

So, pack a little salt in a watertight container to get these suckers off you safely and with less bloody stain-effects

5) Minyak cap Kapak (Malaysian magic ointment)
- gets em off and clots the blood straight away! The menthol soothes the itchiness too. Cons: leech dies in the process and "Cap Kapak" may attract bees....

Ward off the sucker?
Ah, I hear you say, "Can't I do something to actually ward off leeches before they strike?"
Like garlic to vampire, right?

A well-known trick is to spray the socks you wear with strong insect repellent. Here, in Malaysia, there is this repellent, "Baygon". Friends I know, find this very effective in warding off these blood-suckers. This does a good job if you are willing to bear riding the trails for hours smelling like insect repellent. The downside is, leeches can sneak up from ground or dive bomb from higher altitude on to its victim. So, unless you spray everything you wear with chemical, this is not 100% leech proof.

The Fakawi way
Well practiced amongst the Fakawis, this solution take a strong stand against the leeches. Courage! This gives the leeches no right to take away the pleasure of a ride, any ride. It's a non-chalant stand. It literally takes the sting out of leech bites. The fact: Leeches feed and they fall off, unless we swallow one. Sometimes we tug them off but most times they've rolled off after they've sucked enough. Leaving us a little spot of blood. No biggie. Courage, my dear Fakawis!

Conclusion
It is not far-off to say, we, Fakawis are like leeches. Leeches suck, and Fakawis want to... no, we NEED to suck the marrow out of life or we die. Call it a brotherhood or a kinship with the leeches.

So, fear not brothers & sistas, "Leeches are our friends!".

-Kevinawi