Jan 2005
Ongawi

Fakawi
MO FAR KOR
Taste Test

Ever wondered what kind of grub a Fakawi eats in the wild? Well, the secret is out! Anthropologists have recently discovered that the Fakawi survives and thrives on a staple diet of an ancient jungle harvest called the "Mo Far Kor". Dieticians all over the world are still baffled by this new group of nutrition. Neither plant nor animal based, the Mo Far Kor is threatening the traditional 'Food Pyramid' as we know it.

Eaten in its desiccated state during rigorous activities, the Mo Far Kor has been found to have a glycaemic index that is a hundred times higher than pure glucose solution! What more, it is totally safe to be consumed by any type of diabetic, during driving and after alcohol consumption. When rolled up and smoked in its pure state, the Mo Far Kor has been found to have therapeutic decongestant effects on just about every sinus and airway in the body. Being an excellent stimulant, the Mo Far Kor has the potency of ten cups of coffee minus sugar and coffee-mate, hence useful during long drives or 24-hour races.

Heat spectrum analysis of the Mo Far Kor reveals that it shares no similar amino acids with other known plants or animals, hence the hypothesis that it may have originated from outer space. This issue is still being debated by the FDA, X-File geeks and the scientific community.

Who's Your Daddy?

Enterprising companies have recently brought the food of the Fakawis to general nonFakawi public, now available in every supermarket in 5g, 10g and 25g packets (2kg, 10kg sacks are to be released soon). The most recognizable Mo Far Kor product on the shelves out there would be the one with The Guy with the Tie on the front. The description on the packaging says "..contains 'kamchu' which relieves bad breath, sore throat and dizziness during long journeys..". We know of many other miraculous properties that are omitted.

A quick check on the expiry date on the packet of Mo Far Kor (purchased 7 May 2003) showed an expiry date of 15.02.2006! (I know of plutonium that has earlier expiry dates!). This is another anti-ageing property of the Mo Far Kor.. However, to be on the safe side, always check the expiry date! Buy an expired item and you will end up with a real bad Mo Far Kor!

Rush out and buy yourself a pack today!

-Ongawi